Living my authentic self: When two worlds collide

Something was missing in my life, and I couldn’t figure out what it was. 

It was a beautiful spring morning in April 2024, just like any other day, and I started reflecting. I got up every morning, went to work, had a circle of friends, a few commitments, and even enjoyed treating myself to nice vacations. But I was still feeling an emptiness inside. A spiritual void inside me that needed something to fill it. 

That day, I put my finger on the problem: I was about to turn 60 years old. I was actually going through a mid-life crisis. 

Since my financial situation wasn’t going to give me a red sports car, I decided to be different and creative. I had reached a point in my life where I wasn’t going to be afraid of what everyone around me thought. I wanted to test myself and see if I could be comfortable in my own skin. 

So I signed up to perform in a drag show at an event called “Mascara.” I’d seen others up there on the stage and thought, “Why not?” My nickname is Mouse, so I decided my drag name would be Mousafina. As a birthday present to myself, I had my debut in front of one of my communities, in the Castro. 

It was about that same time that I started getting involved in community and political groups. My neighbors were starting an organization called O’Farrell Neighbors Group. I also joined the Tenderloin People’s Congress, a resident advocacy group. I started raising my hand at meetings and talking about the issues going on. At first we were trying to tackle challenges with housing displaced individuals. Then, we started discussing other problems, like empty storefronts, the lack of trees in the neighborhood, and then crime and safety. All of this gave me a feeling of purpose. I also joined the Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco, an LGBTQ+ charitable organization, where I helped raise money for various nonprofits.

I continued doing these two activities on a consistent basis — group meetings during the week and drag shows on the weekend. It wasn’t long before I truly embraced the title given to me by the Ducal Council: The “Royal Rainbow Knight.” 

Then, I was asked at one of these meetings if I would like to put on a drag show at Sunday Streets. For those not familiar, Sunday Streets is a series of free, public events where streets in San Francisco are temporarily closed to automobile traffic, transforming them into open recreational spaces. It encourages community health, neighborhood exploration, and activities like biking, walking, and skating.

Wow! It was two separate worlds in my life coming together as one. I had gotten used to putting on productions at the bars in the Castro, like Midnight Sun, Edge, Beaux, and the Café. And so this wouldn’t be any different — it would just be outdoors, and the audience would be my Tenderloin neighbors.

I started contacting people I regularly performed with to invite them to the Sunday Streets main stage on Ellis Street. I asked performers from the Ducal Council, the Imperial Council, the Krewe de Kinque (also LGBTQ+ charitable groups), and the organizers of San Francisco Pride. The other performers were delighted to say yes to the opportunity to support Sunday Streets.

The show was a hit! We had members of the audience who stopped by early in the day stay and watch the whole show. I’m still hearing friends talk about it. 

This whole experience has fulfilled that one item in my life that I felt I was missing: that feeling of being part of the community. It just required bold courage, which I had with me all along. And that is what Sunday Streets is all about: community.